hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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