It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
