Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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