Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
