Christians are straight up FREAKS
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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