You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
