I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
