frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
