Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry AthenaWisdom hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(972): View more from Texas

If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.

Fav 62 1918 3228
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later

Fav 24 6553 1206
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(740): View more from Ohio

He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over

Fav 41 1528 3261
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(631): View more from New York

Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.

Fav 9 2825 1262
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(707): View more from California

You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"

Fav 6 3854 1432
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything

Fav 12 2367 990
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(514): View more from Quebec

He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?

Fav 15 1205 1971
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(310): View more from California

I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?

Fav 1 429 255
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me

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