don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
