Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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