D3 body, D1 cock
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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