brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
