So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize