i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He kissed a someone with a penis
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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