the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
cat food counts as protein by the way
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
