His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
