when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
