She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
