Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
