is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
