One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
