PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
