Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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