is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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