Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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