And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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