1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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