We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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