I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
