Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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