he shaved USA in his pubs
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
