We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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