Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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