They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
