Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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