everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
