it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just forgot I was standing up.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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