My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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