You really coming over, don't trick.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize