Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i dont even know how to be here
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
