How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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