So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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