got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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