she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
