So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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