You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
