Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
