Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
