my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
