Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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