Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
zippers are such a cool invention
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
