I'm jealous of your bromance
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
