coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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