zippers are such a cool invention
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
