Barsexuality is the new black.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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