I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize