My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
