She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
