She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
